1. ended up arguing again with the chair of my graduate program. it's been third or fourth time since the program began. i finally told him that he needed to improve his communication skills with students. he said i was not in position to judge a "professor," so i said "i am not judging you, but i am talking about how the way you have communicated with us (me and my colleagues) has just not worked so far. this is not my personal judgement. i believe listening to students and responding is also a duty of a professor, which you are not doing." i feel a lot better after telling him. am i rude ? guess i was. i hate bureaucracy.
2. in the subway, i sat next to 아저씨, who had his legs WIDE open. so i pushed his legs by widening MY legs. then he glared at me, but i pretended i didn't notice. he left, then his seat was replaced by another 아저씨, who was drunken and had wide shoulders. on the other side of my seat was another 아저씨, who was also drunken and had wide shoulders. then in the middle, me, who ALSO has relatively wide shoulders, felt so jammed. their body gestures were CONSTANTLY telling me "hey, ill take your space because you are smaller." there was an intense battle - me pushing my shoulders and them pushing back + glaring with a look that says "what are you?" - from both sides. when i arrived at my station, i jumped out. so sick of putting up with 술취한 아저씨 in subway.
3. got out of the subway, then i almost hit buy a car that was making a left turn. i screamed, then he stopped, lowered his windows, then said "are you okay? i didn't see you. i am sorry." he was smoking (while driving), sounded super casual. i was not sure if he really meant it or was babbling without consciousness. i should've said something about his attitude, but i just replied to his question by saying "yes, it is okay. i am fine." then the car drove away. i felt powerless when all of a sudden i felt anger arising inside of me.
4. i arrived home, then the reality hasn't changed a bit from a few hrs ago when i heard the news about the election result. the first thought that comes to my mind is the election system is messed up. how much does it reflect the voices of ppl who aren't the white middle class ? will i now have to hear Trump babbling about "peace" of the world? that would be a "peace" of shit.
2. in the subway, i sat next to 아저씨, who had his legs WIDE open. so i pushed his legs by widening MY legs. then he glared at me, but i pretended i didn't notice. he left, then his seat was replaced by another 아저씨, who was drunken and had wide shoulders. on the other side of my seat was another 아저씨, who was also drunken and had wide shoulders. then in the middle, me, who ALSO has relatively wide shoulders, felt so jammed. their body gestures were CONSTANTLY telling me "hey, ill take your space because you are smaller." there was an intense battle - me pushing my shoulders and them pushing back + glaring with a look that says "what are you?" - from both sides. when i arrived at my station, i jumped out. so sick of putting up with 술취한 아저씨 in subway.
3. got out of the subway, then i almost hit buy a car that was making a left turn. i screamed, then he stopped, lowered his windows, then said "are you okay? i didn't see you. i am sorry." he was smoking (while driving), sounded super casual. i was not sure if he really meant it or was babbling without consciousness. i should've said something about his attitude, but i just replied to his question by saying "yes, it is okay. i am fine." then the car drove away. i felt powerless when all of a sudden i felt anger arising inside of me.
4. i arrived home, then the reality hasn't changed a bit from a few hrs ago when i heard the news about the election result. the first thought that comes to my mind is the election system is messed up. how much does it reflect the voices of ppl who aren't the white middle class ? will i now have to hear Trump babbling about "peace" of the world? that would be a "peace" of shit.
things can always get worse than what it seems to be the worst situation. it's my lesson-learned today. i WANT TO believe that the opposite can also be true: things can always get better when it seems so hopeless and worthless, but i m not so sure... the well of my heart feels dried ..
