For a little bit more than a day, I was surrounded by Jehovah's witnesses only. My original plan of "meeting up" my cousin's family, who flew from Korea for an international convention for Jehovah's witnesses, accidentally(?) ended up joining their tour of speculating activities of their "brothers and sisters" in the U.S.
Other than my initial discomfort from being told to change my pants to skirts, since skirts were considered appropriate and pants not (I find this more sexiest than religious), I felt home with them. They were warm-hearted people. They welcomed me even though it was apparent that I was not with them on their "Road to Truth." While I was translating English for them all day long at tour sites, they kept fanning my heated face and thanking me every five to ten minutes, which made me feel happy to do my job.
At the same time, I sensed a kind of indulgent sentiment, if not reserved heroism, in their stories of recollecting of fighting battles against non-Jehovah's witnesses who had prosecuted them for believing in the words of Jehovah. There is definitely history involved in this feeling, since in 1960s-80s, any liberal Korean citizen has suffered the severe military dictatorship for living upto one's ideology not only of religion but social, political, and cultural. As such suffering continues to happen today, only in milder ways (i.e. irrational criticism from other religious or non-religious group of ppl), their humble conviction in their religion seemed to be that they were at least on the right track!
Only because one does not have religion does NOT mean one is not serious about questioning what life is and should be. While Jehovah's witnesses have found an amazingly logical way of explaining life - they can find ALL ANSWERS to ALL QUESTIONS in the Bible, which is bound to generate the right answer, the Truth with capital T, I don't care to pin down the meaning of life because I like it undefined. For me, enjoying life has nothing to do with defining life. Besides, I am quiet serious in my effort to enjoy life. For instance, I go to bed knowing tomorrow will be a different day.!!
Jun 26, 2009
Jun 22, 2009
Kim Ok-Jin's silence
My roommate is leaving soon. What would it be like to live alone? Life will go on, for sure. Much more silence (is this even possible?) than now will be part of my life and me. but hopefully not too much solitude. Last year, my dad sent me a collection of poems from Korea written by an amateur poetess. Her name is Kim Ok-Jin, and she had written poems ever since becoming paralyzed (except arms, hands and above shoulder) from falling off a building by an accident when she was 17 yrs old. Her verses are not exactly artistic / poetic, but they are beautiful and truthful. What strikes me is her calmness in facing reality. Her calmness reflects anger and desperation on life - yet, I want to call it calmness because her poems are lively, and they are about love more than frustration. Let me translate my favorite of her poems:
Silence (or speechlessness)
I do not want to say I am sad
I do not want to say I am not well
I do not wan to say I am in love
I simply want to be silent
For speaking is like
the trembling of leaves
standing alone in deep forest
For speaking is like
the twinkling of stars that dimly flow
through the sky on dark sky at night
I cannot speak
I truly cannot speak
The reason why I cannot speak
is not because I've got a reason
The reason of not having a reason
is the reason of why I cannot speak.
For Ok-Jin, speaking almost seems to be a solemn and painful moment of revealing her true feelings while not speaking (or being silent) seems to be equivalent of composing poems, a way she is comfortable with of opening up her true feelings. Her seemingly silent moment is therefore active and lively - through poems, she becomes real. I am with her in that silence is not always void of noise, and I also think vice versa. To create silence, noise can be effective! Ok-Jin may not agree with me since to her, noise (speaking) is inevitably associated with solitude.
In the epilogues, she says,
"At last, as starting to doing these (writing poems), I have come to realize I am not what I hate to be, namely being alone. When I write and compose poems, in my work, there is always sound I desire, color I desire, and a correspondent I desire. For all these times, I have been speaking my mind to the correspondent. That was the way for me to win my solitude."
Silence (or speechlessness)
I do not want to say I am sad
I do not want to say I am not well
I do not wan to say I am in love
I simply want to be silent
For speaking is like
the trembling of leaves
standing alone in deep forest
For speaking is like
the twinkling of stars that dimly flow
through the sky on dark sky at night
I cannot speak
I truly cannot speak
The reason why I cannot speak
is not because I've got a reason
The reason of not having a reason
is the reason of why I cannot speak.
For Ok-Jin, speaking almost seems to be a solemn and painful moment of revealing her true feelings while not speaking (or being silent) seems to be equivalent of composing poems, a way she is comfortable with of opening up her true feelings. Her seemingly silent moment is therefore active and lively - through poems, she becomes real. I am with her in that silence is not always void of noise, and I also think vice versa. To create silence, noise can be effective! Ok-Jin may not agree with me since to her, noise (speaking) is inevitably associated with solitude.
In the epilogues, she says,
"At last, as starting to doing these (writing poems), I have come to realize I am not what I hate to be, namely being alone. When I write and compose poems, in my work, there is always sound I desire, color I desire, and a correspondent I desire. For all these times, I have been speaking my mind to the correspondent. That was the way for me to win my solitude."
Jun 19, 2009
Poetry Reading
I know nothing about poetry, yet am terribly attracted to poetry reading. There is something about the sound of lyrics being read out loud - it appeals to me mysteriously and pleasurably.
Jun 14, 2009
“Ahmadinejad both enjoys support & triggers opposition”
http://www.russiatoday.com/Politics/2009-06-12/_Ahmadinejad_both_enjoys_support__and__triggers_opposition_.html#
- Interesting contrast with an article about the same topic from NY times, which mentions no aspect of the supportive crowd of President Ahmadinejad
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8102633.stm
- Different perspective on the result of election from an Iranian
- Interesting contrast with an article about the same topic from NY times, which mentions no aspect of the supportive crowd of President Ahmadinejad
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8102633.stm
- Different perspective on the result of election from an Iranian
Jun 12, 2009
the idea of you
The idea of you, the dream of my first love.
I was drawn to your essence – so naively yet truthfully.
That one is different from another, that my realm resembles little of yours.
Such triviality did not hinder me from adoring you when the time was pointing three years ago. I then perhaps had a better understanding of the common saying that all humans are essentially one. I could adopt you as part of me because part of you always has been part of me, essentially. Over three years, have I lost my naivety or have I grown up and become wiser? To survive, to be efficient, to make less “mistakes” so that I can be happy. I sometimes doubt if I will ever love someone as strongly as I loved you – that will be bliss.
I was drawn to your essence – so naively yet truthfully.
That one is different from another, that my realm resembles little of yours.
Such triviality did not hinder me from adoring you when the time was pointing three years ago. I then perhaps had a better understanding of the common saying that all humans are essentially one. I could adopt you as part of me because part of you always has been part of me, essentially. Over three years, have I lost my naivety or have I grown up and become wiser? To survive, to be efficient, to make less “mistakes” so that I can be happy. I sometimes doubt if I will ever love someone as strongly as I loved you – that will be bliss.
Jun 8, 2009
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